Sunday, September 21, 2008

New look for my new thoughts

I am starting to feel less and less small in this big world. While I like doing really difficult things (moving to a new country, extreme physical activity, learning a new language) I usually have a kind of "buyers' remorse" after making a big life-changing decision like that. I make a decision and then it is hard for me to wrap my head around it. So I spend copious amounts of time convincing myself that I have indeed made the right decision and then just end up plunging right in with no looking back, so as not to run full speed in the opposite direction.

Goodness am I verbose! What I am trying to say is that Japan is really great for me. I really like it here and the prospect of traveling to different and sometimes exotic places later in life is a really exciting thought in my head. So to go along with this relatively new attitude I just found (no really, I was upturning rocks in the parking lot and there was a huge pile of spontaneity right there, so I grabbed it!), I have decided to give the blog a bit of a new look. I have always enjoyed the idea of rainbows and how perfectly visible they are while at the same time being incredibly intangible. It is something you can be positive exists, it always appears at the end of a storm and radiates happiness, but it is merely light reflected from raindrops (a kind of natural light show). I think the paradox of rainbows fits in quite nicely with my own personal paradox. I am emotional, I'm not afraid to cry or to feel sad. I view those raindrops as my tears, and just imagine the light that I am able to reflect from my own sadness to move on and create something inspiring and happy to someone else.

So enjoy my new rainbows. I think I may even change the title sometime soon, but I didn't want to throw too much of a shock to the system all at once. Changes must be gradual and allow for the logic of the mind to catch up with the impulses of the heart.

3 comments:

Mikey said...

I agree that you should seek a new title, as you are not so small compared to the world. Considering your grand life and stories, it's more like big you, little everyone else. Also, like I've said before, it sounds too much like that tv show about the dwarf family.

Unknown said...

WOW! you seem to be exploring your poetic side - I like it! :)
and I LOVE the rainbows. I'm the crazy chick that was glad I was stuck in traffic at some point this summer b/c it gave me the opportunity to figure out my new camera phone so I could take pics of the rainbows rising above the lanes of traffic. I still have them. I just always want to run and find the end...... :wink:

Unknown said...

I love your writing and being a "fly on the wall" to see the thoughts in your mind is an incredible experience for me as the Mom. Thanks for the new perspective and enjoyable read. I love you. Mom