EPL - India

I gave this book to my dear friend Amy for her birthday in December. I had heard wonderful things about the book and thought that it was just the type of story to help any woman with a bit of introspection and self-assessment. Well, for my birthday, my lovely friend Amy returned the favor and sent me this book. How intuitive she is to know that I needed to read this and really evaluate the way it made me feel. Her one caveat upon giving it to me was, "India was tough to get through." Amy, I couldn't agree more.

So, here I find myself in India and all I can think about Elizabeth Gilbert is how intensely whiny she is and how I cannot stand to hear her obsess any more about the same thing over and over. And then I get hit with a stick and the stark realization that obsession and over thinking is my most loathed and loyal companion.

"the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking."
Story of my life. I attach an emotional value to every aspect of my life. Emotional capital is something I have in abundance and I would share, but frankly I don't think the people around me want that kind of gift. I dwell on things and just the thoughts are not so dangerous - however my unnatural attachment to my emotions is what causes me to sometimes spin into a dark and sad place for absolutely no reason. Because I think with my heart, my heart assumes everyone else does as well. This is a problem because the things I most often obsess over are issues that don't actually matter to anyone else nearly as much as they matter to me and I NEED to realize that. I never let myself off the hook - I need to work on that.

"You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."
Self explanatory? Yes.

"In your service to your nephew, you are serving God."
This is a sentiment I have believed deeply since I was in high school. When I was younger, I found myself always in a big fight with religion and God. I had a hard time with the concept of a vengeful God and fire and brimstone. I was convinced that the only support and love I needed in this life was the incredibly deep and unconditional love my family had for me and I for them. They are the only thing I need to get through this life - and love is so much more powerful than fear. Since I began college, I have recanted a bit and I have a new respect for my religious upbringing - especially the Priest in my Parish that has never made me feel like an awful sinner. I still have much disdain for the idea that God should be feared, and I think God might too. I know now that by counting on the love and support of my family and giving all my love and support to my family I am depending upon and living through God. "God dwells within you as you yourself, exactly the way you are." What a beautiful and incredibly easy to believe thought.