Learning to Bow by Bruce Feiler

This book is really a great read and a testament to the fact that reading can be enjoyable after college! To confess I have owned this book for years, but this is the first time I have actually been able to read all the way through it. My sister, Christina, has this way of giving gifts that is simply spectacular! She is the person who gave me my first Cranberries CD before they were popular - I loved them first; and she gave me Macy Gray before she was popular. Among other fun and insightful gifts, she gave me this book, Learning to Bow: Inside the Heart of Japan. Giving the subject matter, it clearly has helped me to be more understanding of Japanese culture in regards to academia. When I read this book, I feel as though I am having a conversation and I am able to ask questions and bounce ideas and he does a pretty great job of delving into some common frustrations, but also playing devil's advocate and shedding light upon the beauty in indirect speech and the undying commitment to the group above oneself.

Some excerpts I would like to comment upon:

"I didn't know cotton grows in Japan," I said.
"It doesn't," he said, "We don't have the right soil. Plus we don't have any slaves..." He paused as if to consider his next line. Then slowly a smile crept across his face. "All we have is our wives."

This is a piece from early in the book and I think it speaks directly to how the Japanese view Americans through an odd scope filled with misplaced reverie and disdain. I have experienced such instances when the Japanese are so proud to display a very tangible similarity between America and Japan. They want me to know that we are not so different, that they can adapt to my culture and appreciate the oddities of America. This of course is all for show and most Japanese, given the way of their society, do not appreciate American culture because they view it as individualistic and often lacking manners. This has caused me to think deeply about how societies form and how politesse is defined across cultural lines. For example, the Japanese view Americans (and most Western cultures for that matter) as rude and out-spoken. They believe they are lesser than the Japanese because we discuss private thoughts out loud, have little regard for the well-being of the group above our individual goals and the fact that we embrace differences and individuality and frown upon conformity. However, the Japanese can be seen as rude despite their togetherness attitude. For instance, when I am walking down the sidewalk, and the little lady, or the young kid, or the old man almost hit me with their bicycle because they have no concept of personal space and the fact that bicycles can inflict bodily harm. In a moving crowd, (like coming on or off the train) there is no thought of pushing and shoving and stepping on toes as acceptable, impatient methods of boarding the train. The Japanese do not hold doors for one another. They think we are rude for looking them in the eye when we speak or listen to them, we think they are rude for always avoiding eye contact. All of these things are just basic socially accepted behaviors that each culture has established and it is fair to call them wrong or rude. We are making that judgment based solely upon what we have learned - it is a bit like the religion debate - why does anyone have to be wrong - why can't we just be different and move on?

"Shinjinrui are people who cannot think for themselves," Komaba said. "I went to buy a coat the other day in Tokyo, and all I could find were leather jackets. Two years ago it was football jackets from America; then it was navy pea coats. This year it's leather. The people who buy these coats are shinjinrui."
"The problem," Komba said with a tone of authority, "is that with all the American movies and fashion clothes, students have forgotten what it means to be Japanese."

This is a classic Catch-22 the Japanese perpetuate all by themselves! Frankly the Japanese are not taught to think for themselves, they are taught to think for the commonwealth, the whole group. That group can be their homeroom class at school, their co-workers in a company, sometimes the family, but often the whole community makes decisions as one. So this passage is not complaining that the Japanese cannot think for themselves, it is rather lamenting that the effects of internationalization cause the Japanese to become more judgmental toward the outside world. The Japanese want all products to be Japanese, they want all people to look and dress and like Japanese culture and set aside the products and fashions from the Western world. As the Western world infiltrates, the Japanese recoil. They seem to go through this cycle every several years or so - "We need a policy of internationalization so Japan can grow and show the world our greatness" "Wait, this means that the Western world will come here, I thought it just meant that Japan exported our products to the world....oh no, this won't work at all!" This is perpetuated much by the government of Japan, but the cyclical nature of Japan's homogeneous society is performed by the Japanese all together. They are deathly afraid of losing what it means to be Japanese and the only way they can think to preserve what they have is to isolate themselves. Of course this mentality is much more prevalent in the more rural parts of Japan - but much of Japan is rural; less than 20 minutes outside of Tokyo is open countryside and a wildly different way of living than in the metropolis Tokyo. You'd think, "Oh, well Tokyo must be proof that the Japanese are changing and learning to accept difference." Wrong. It is a common occurrence that when a student or really any person migrates to Tokyo for college or work, they can never return home (metaphorically speaking). They are then considered Westernized and not true Japanese. They become loud and rude and are always kept on the outside circles of their home communities - ostracized by the ones who knew them best.

Living with the Japanese is a very fascinating and often rewarding experience. I have been able to learn very much about their culture and acceptable ways of communicating and simply living. As I said before, they are different, often frustrating, but not necessarily wrong. I am here to learn something new and accept change - that is my job, not theirs. Just as I wouldn't expect people from America to change their culture or life simply because they have a Japanese neighbor - I cannot expect to (nor do I want to) change the community in which I live. I merely want to live here for a short time, display my own personal culture of openness and acceptance with the desire to learn. I hope I am remembered fondly and as a friend when my time here is complete. But personally I want to see the differences I want to allow things to frustrate me or make me happy and really delve into what that means in contrast with where I am from and how I have been raised.