This is my last night at home. I'm a little bit freaked out. I hope I've talked to my friends enough. I hope I've talked to my family enough. I am going to miss the sound of their voices. Holidays are going to be hard.
I am sitting at home on my last night watching a movie with my family and just thinking about how much I do not want tomorrow to come. I have tried to stay so positive and optimistic about this coming year, but I should have known that I couldn't guarantee anything the night just before I leave.
I wish the tears would stop and I could remember why I am doing this. I am smart enough to know that this is going to be an incredible experience and once I get settled there everything will be okay and the hard part in moving across the world will have totally faded.
I don't think encouragement will help right now. I appreciate all of you who read this, but I know I will be fine and I know I have some really great friends. I will be fine, but let me feel this sadness and loneliness right now.
4 comments:
I feel the same way. Next week will be fine for me, but for now, it hurts.
My darling daughter, I have just completed reading all of your entries at once and I love your way with words. My mother's instinct is to console and "fix" what hurts you, but as an adult woman, I know that growth into a woman of quality, depth and character takes pain. You go through pain to get stronger - You will be stronger!! I am so proud of who you are and the little girl who has grown to be such a remarkable woman. I love you.
Everybody says don't lose your head
You gotta keep that pretty smile upon your face
Well I did that for awhile but it
just was not my style
I kept endin' up in that forbidden place
I'm a happy woman but when I get knocked to the ground
I invite the blues to come around
So don't be afraid to cry get
down as far as you can go
Let the river rage on by and the wind blow
If you pay your dues in darkness
You'll appreciate the light
'Cause a deep down low makes level feel so high
I put on the saddest song ignore the telephone
I go ahead and cry the make-up from my eyes
I let my mind play tricks and then
I let it fool me once again
Into thinkin' that I'll never be alright
Then when I'm no longer crazy and
I'm back to my old self
I realize how good I've always felt
Let yourself go under
Touch the bottom of the pool
Ain't it strange and don't you wonder
How you always come back up and it's so cool
HUGE HUGS babe - thinking of you
If you pay your dues in darkness
You'll appreciate the light
'Cause a deep down low makes level feel so high
Dear Annelyse, We hope you were able to sleep on the flight and arrived safely. We're thinking of you and sending our best wishes. We have every confidence that you will be as successful in this endeavor as in all your past ones!
Looking forward to when you can tell us of your experiences!!!!
Love, G-Ma and G-Pa
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