Monday, December 21, 2009

Baby steps

Today the sun was shining, so that's a good sign. My heart is still heavy, and my eyes fill with tears at random moments - the sound of a familiar song, an old memory pops into my head - but these feelings will help me to grow and continue on a forward moving path through life.

I'm not at all ready for Christmas, but I am VERY ready to be with my family. After being half way around the world during the holidays last year, I am very thankful to spend this time with my family and to tell them I love them whenever possible. I am fortunate in that I will always have a home with wonderful parents where I know I am welcome any time.

I think we all need a safe haven. For some that is a physical place, for others that is a person - for everyone it is a necessary part of hurting and healing from which none of us are exempt. Perhaps it is cliche, but the truth remains; the holidays are a perfect time for nostalgia, memories, and feeling every emotion of which you are capable. I'm thankful for the life I am living and my ability to remember so many wonderful things. I have learned a lot about change and transition, but I still feel deeply and cling dearly to the memories I have made with those whom I love.

For as sad as I have felt over the past week, and the sadness I am sure to experience in the coming weeks, I am eternally thankful for the abounding love and support in my life. Sadness is an emotion like any other that needs to be felt and shouldn't be ignored, but I am looking forward to the near future when my inclination is to laugh instead of cry.

And to end on a happy note, even through my foggy tears, I have a wonderful network of friends and family that all made me feel really special today.

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