Wednesday, September 16, 2009

There's no in between

I'm either crazy busy and running around or I am sitting on the couch all day trying to look for a job. My first few weeks home was a whirlwind of traveling and driving and theme parks and reconnecting with friends and family. It was busy and happy and I had no time to sit and think about, "What next?" I kind of liked it that way - I like being busy. Lately it's only been about, "What next?" I've been thinking about this question a lot - and about how to make my savings stretch until that next piece falls into place. Everything is a double-edged sword right now, and with that brings a lot of ups and downs. I'm walking a tightrope with myself to try and figure out what the next big step in my life should be, where it should be, and how I should make it happen. It's a nice thought to think that I am the only one to consider in this decision - but wholly unrealistic.

I think I need a bit of focus - but it's really difficult for me to cut out any options when I am so desperate for a job. Again, double-edged. It's great to talk to my Mom all the time and to so many other people that care about me, but sometimes I just don't want to talk about the job search any more. I don't want the valuable advice I'm being given or the magazines I am being told to read. This is immaturity and stubbornness talking - but it's the truth. Everyone has an opinion about how I should do this and everything thinks I am so capable and qualified, but no one is in the position to just GIVE me the job. Heck, all I really want is to get an interview - I can handle the rest.

I vow to continue applying and taking the suggestions and advice from those around me. I vow to follow-up with the applications I have already submitted and express to these employers that I am for real. I vow to keep trying until something pans out. Mom and Dad, I vow to keep paying all my bills and begin applying for retail and service positions if my savings wears too thin.

3 comments:

Leah J. said...

I've been there, love, in job limbo. I tried to laugh it off and say it was a much-needed break, but the fact remained that there was lots of money going out and not much coming in. It's high-stress, and no matter how much people offer you helpful hints and send articles, you just feel like you need to do it on your own and take your time to think.

If you need to vent, I'm here :)

Mikey said...

I think you're doing a fine job of taking care of your life. Sure, you don't have a job yet and money is becoming scarce, but you're doing what you can, and that's all you can really expect from yourself. Things will fall into place soon enough.

Rachael said...

I hear ya hun. When you first met me life was pretty rough. I don't know how I would have eaten if not for Matt and the Bentley cafe that people kept letting me into. I remember selling cd's to make sure I could pay rent. BUT - I also learned a lot abt myself during that time and what mattered most to me. I did anything and everything in my power to make sure that stuff happened. If you want a couch, you know we have two! And after this who crazy W thing is done there would even be gas money in it for ya! :-) hang tough, sister!