The fact that my time here is limited is annoying. The way people anticipate the ending of a phase causes nothing but stress! It would be so much easier if everything were normal and then all of a sudden, POOF, I just wasn't here any more. As it is right now I am scheduling myself until I have only a few hours sleep every night between dinner dates, and packing, and cleaning...
I always feel guilty for over scheduling or having to say goodbye before my friends are ready, so that I can move on to the next goodbye. I am afraid that my overly packed schedule comes across as aloof and nonchalant to these friends of whom I will miss so dearly. I don't have time to make everyone happy.
In addition to trying to see everyone here in Japan, I don't have time to talk to anyone from home any more either. There is no time to Skype, barely any time to talk through instant messages and getting to the point where I don't get online much at all! And realistically speaking, nothing will calm down once I get home either. I just have to wait out the next few months until my leaving and my arriving is less exciting.
I know that all of this stress just means that people love me - and I truly love all of you as well. And if that is the case, then I will take the stress if it means having good friends that care so much for me. I will miss everyone.
3 comments:
So much scheduling! I've got an idea that will bring a little structure to your schedule: Fantasy Annelyse Draft! Actually, it's not fantasy, but for reals. We'll have a draft lottery to determine the order, and then we will claim time slots to spend with you. You will have both the first and last picks of each round to claim some "you" time. People will get 1-10 points per time slot determined by the awesomeness of the activities they do with you, and that will determine the seeds for the playoffs, where people will go head to head in a best of 3 series until a champion is crowned. The winner will receive a $25 gift card for Olive Garden and a framed picture of Annelyse giving a thumbs up, while all the losers get to chip in to pay for the winner's prize.
Obviously, I got a little carried away. I know things are hectic, but when you get back to the States, you'll have a whole lot more than two weeks to spread among everyone you want to see here. Enjoy your goodbyes, and prepare yourself for all the happy hellos you'll receive when you get home!
I know its sad to leave a life you've created for yourself from scratch - but really, its just the beg. you have so much to look forward to, plan, see and do. people to catch up with as well as build a life for yourself here too - its been long enough that i think you'll find you can build anew. and with technology being what it is, you never have to really say goodbye to all those in Japan.
i know its hard, but just remember that its hard b/c you've had a successful yr away - and all the goodbyes are people you got the chance to meet and be a part of their lives. it's hard, yes. but a good difficult time. does that make sense? HUGE HUGS!
Mike I love the way your mind works. Annelyse, Rachel is right that the more friends you have the harder it is to change the routine of those friendships. But even from an electronically challenged perspective the world is a much smaller place and you are never truly separated from those you love. But please give yourself a break and allow for some "grieving" time for the changes that are about to take place.
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